in retrospect

I've ridden the pendulum to the other side now, a screaming swing with eyes watering against the journey's breath. Here we are, at the apex, my momentum gone. This smile is etched for life. I want to stay, but that's not how a pendulum works. I could cut the cord and fall to the sand beneath, that would be one way. That's a scary thought, decisiveness in impermanence. If there's one thing I've learned on this side is that my surroundings themselves have their own pendulum. Anything human derived is like this.

Behind me, that's where I'm bound to fall again. This time though, I know it's natural and I won't fight it. I'll tell myself that at least, like an affirmation hoping to trick my mind to ignore my heart. I play a lot of tricks to get myself to do things, but I'd rather not this time.

So mind, body, heart... here me out. If we go back to where we came as hard and as fast as possible we can add momentum. We can push this swing to the snapping point and beyond. It won't break, that string of life, it shines and sings when pulled and plucked. When we reach the other side we'll be deeper and farther than we've ever gone before. That which we've come to loath will be new. More importantly, we'll have given ourselves a running start back to the other side.

I just want more. I need to swing higher.

my favorite trench

Jeremy and Dave have switched seats, but the facial hair remains the same. I've moved to the right, closer to god forsaken Halo machine. I've ordered new headphones to combat this beautiful menace. Alice is a gorgeous beast of a project, I'm already on 10's. This place easily goes to 11, it's itching to. I'm going to need those headphones. My ZRenders are done, back to the trench!